Parents in limbo

Parents in limbo the daughter – in – law and the parents-in-Law
don’t exactly get on
Like a house on fire but a sensible son can strike a right
Balance between them and of course the twain can meet!
A marriage brings in its wake much happiness — and problems. Problems of personal chemistry and a place in the Sun for parents. In the Indian situation these problems have proved to be the starting-point of domestic disharmony. The daughter-in-law (DIL) and mother-in-law (MIL) seem to be perpetually in adversarial situations. There are, surely, instances of the two hitting it off splendidly resulting in a “lived-happily-ever-after” situation. But these are not many. The general prevailing scenario is one akin to the cat and mouse or “cold war” relationship. Who is the cat and who is the mouse? Well, take your pick. It varies from case to case.
The most important person in the dramatis personae is of course the son/husband who perforce has to play the role of the arbitrator or mediator in the disputes which keep croping up. He may be — a) a strong, down-to-earth type holding the balance evenly, or b) a slobbering mam¬ma’s boy, or c) a spineless man with no backbone to stand up to his aggressive wife.
It is the first type which needs to be taken up for consideration because b) and c) are best left to the doctrine of Karma.
What is the reason for the constant rub between the man’s wife and mother? The MIL looks upon the DIL as an upstart usurper and the DIL upon the MIL as a possessive manipulator, obsessed with “remote control.”
It is a paradox that while not wanting the MIL’s presence, the DIL still wants her occasionally, at the time of childbirth, religious functions etc. One is reminded of curry leaves being used for flavour and then discarded.