WEDDING @ WEBSITE. COM

WEDDING @ WEBSITE. COM

The girl had to steal a glance, lasting a second, at the boy with whom, mind you, she had to live the next 50 to 60 years. She had to spot the right guy, as the-groom-to-be would have come with a couple of his brothers, cousins and friends. They came either to help him choose or to taste the hajjis and sojji (sooji halwa), which would be served next.
I often wondered whether the quality of these eats decided some weddings, more so, if the girl’s father announced that they had been made by the girl herself. A popular saying those days was that one could even tell a thousand lies to fix up a wedding.
The boy’s opinion was sought as a rule, but the girl’s was taken for granted. In most cases she was to be handed over on a platter. The girls, though educated, were perhaps as opinionated as the hajjis served or they were scared to voice their opinions. A slight nod, even if she did it to scratch her head, was taken for a “Yes” and even her silence meant “Yes.”
And ultimately if the boy and his parents gave their consent, an alliance was struck. Not many alliances were forged unconditionally. Letters were drafted and redrafted, mediators ran from party to party, adjustments had to be made and money changed hands. Much like today’s political alliances during elections, terms and conditions were part of the deal.
And as for the wedding, the preparations started months in advance. Mamis were engaged to roll out papads in thousands. One person had to be deputed to be after the private goldsmith to make him deliver the diamond ring and mangle sutra in time/ Murukku mamis with bent backs would sit for days to get” shaping delicate designs of rid flour dough on worn-out dhotis ant old towels.