PARENTS IN LIMBO

PARENTS IN LIMBO

DIFFERENT SCENARIOS
In scenario one, it is clear as day light to the son/husband that the “twain shall never meet” and that the greater the distance between the two, the better for all concerned. So as an alternative to old-age home, he sets up his father and mother in a separate establishment away from him. But he supplements the income of his parents and visits them as often as he can. Though happily away from the abrasive DIL, the situation is not a very happy one for the parents, because left to them, they are too old to cope with the problems of running a household or managing ill-health.
At an age, when they would ideally like to sit and relax and be pampered by a grateful son, they feel left out of the mainstream of life. The only plus point is that the cat and the mouse are kept in their 2 corners.
A variant of this is the second scenario. The parents or widowed mother being rather old, the son makes arrangements for them to stay in a separate room or wing in his house. The parents have all the facilities including an attached bathroom.
They hardly come out except occasionally into the living room for a TV programme in an icy atmosphere. Though cooped up in a room, they are at least in safe seclusion. The MIL is not to dabble in the kitchen because it is the DIL’s “power zone.” At dinner time, they come out and after this ritual go back to their island paradise.
This arrangement is slightly better than the previous one in that the parents can meet the son daily for whom their love hasn’t diminished. They do not feel left high and dry. If there are one or two grandchildren to play with, they enjoy life even if in an inhibited way. In this case, the relationship between the adversaries is in a state of suspended animation.