How to give up the people-pleasing habit  

How to give up the people-pleasing habit 

• Try asking yourself a few times during the day: ‘What do t want to do now?’ The more you know what you want, the more you will be able to act on it.
@ Get into the habit of saying I’ll get back to you’ to people who request your time and energy. That way, you can consider in the privacy of your own mind whether the requested favour is something you want to do. Then inform the other person of your decision in the way that’s easiest for you - email a message on their answering machine, or a note.
• Make a list of things that you enjoy doing. Make a commitment to do at least one of these every day.
• What will you regret not having had in your life? That’s a great question to ask you while doing dishes or other mindless activities. When you have an answer, and then ask, ‘What do I need to do now to make sure 1 don’t have those regrets’?
w When you are stuck on a decision, instead of deferring to others, keep asking the question, ‘What do you want to do?’ until you give yourself an answer.
# Ask for support in carrying out the actions you know you need to take. This helps you stand on your own two feet rather than give in to what others want.
d Tell a friend that you are working on your need to please. Ask her to remind you regularly to stop and consider whether you really want to say yes before making any commitments.
& Draw up a list of all the jobs in your household, who does them, and how much time each takes. Are you doing more than your fair share? Sit down with family members and reassign duties.
 Before you offer a favour, ask yourself whether your behaviour will actually please the other person or if you are just assuming that it will.