Tips for a Newly Weded Woman

Tips for a Newly Weded Woman

Marriages, people say, are made in heaven. There are some skeptics who say that marriages are made in street corners. Be that as it may, marriage is a sacred bond, which unites a man and a woman, total strangers in many cases, till death do them part.

Unfortunately in our country, increasingly it is not death but divorce that wrecks the institution of marriage. In many marriages, divorces are preceded by a lot of acrimony with dirty linen being washed in public and the reputation of the warring couple gets torn to shreds.

So it is safe to opine that though marriages may be made in heaven, they have to be preserved on earth and in this the newly-wedded wife has a pivotal role to play. It is she who has the capacity to forge the eternal bond in the first few months of her marriage and once she has cemented the relationship, then the going will be easy for her the rest of the way and life could well become a bed of roses.

Here are some tips that a newly-wedded wife can use to win the love and affection of her husband and also of her sasural:

Patience, the greatest virtue; as an old Tamil saying goes, “the patient will rule the world.” Women have always been compared to Mother Earth, as far as patience is concerned. Patience is the bedrock in any marriage and any bahu or patni who throws tantrums all the time could become unpopular in no time.

The first few months of a marriage should be usefully spent in studying the husband’s character and in identifying his peccadilloes. If he is a part of a joint family, there is a need to develop interpersonal relationships with the other members of the family, especially the mother-in-law, for most men still have a slight Oedipus complex.
A new bride might have to suffer some indignities, more so if she is unemployed, as snide remarks might be flung at her from some quarters.

The ideal way to tackle such recedes into the background. So, if your dreams do not come true and you don’t walk down the aisle with a handsome hunk, there is nothing to worry.

Keep your expectations low: Every girl wants to get married to a superman.

Some want their prospective husbands to look like their favorite film stars, handsome and macho. But it is common knowledge that in arranged marriages, a handsome personality is not the sole criterion.

In fact where other aspects like a good job, sound family background etc are there, good looks might has a good and sterling character, it would be much more easier to keep the marriage going.

By keeping your expectation level low you can avoid disappointment and where you find that you have got much more than what you bargained for, your cup of joy will be full to the brim.

Avoid ego clashes: Every human being has his or her own ego level. And most men have highly inflated egos. Even a pint-sized man might have a king-sized lookers may be hollow inside and a handsome face might mask a brutal beast who might make life hell for you.

A tough exterior, on the contrary, might belong to a most sublime and kind person. And it is not the looks department alone that matters in a marriage.

If your man ego. And where egos are bruised, fights and bitter quarrels begin.

A newly-wedded bride should be careful not to trample on her husband’s ego.

If you find that he is an insufferable egotist, just bide your time. It would be foolish to act in haste and repent at leisure.

In the initial stages it would be best to sublimate your ego as this would indirectly flatter his ego and also serve to avoid any ego clashes. There will always be time later to correct him, especially if his egoistic tendencies prove to be detrimental to the marriage.

Respect the family elders and the husband: The ‘joint family’ system is slowly giving way to the nuclear “family system” but when you step into a joint family, you should right away begin to show affection, regard and respect towards your husband and his people. Be on your best behavior always and don’t give any room to anyone to find fault with you or to criticize you for anything.

By showing respect to the elders, you would easily win their affection and this would pave the way for a successful marriage. The elders will side with you if there is any dispute or disagreement and keep your detractors in check.

These tips are by no means exclusive or exhaustive. It would be a cardinal mistake for any wife to look for perfection in her husband.

The perfect man does not exist, he is a myth. And there can be no perfect woman either. So, rather than exaggerating shortcomings learn to live with them and you will be happy in the long run.

In case the situation in your house is not up to your liking, and you think of divorce, how do you know that the next man and his family will be better if at all you succeed in getting married again? And living the life of a divorcee is no bed of roses.