Blessed Is a Happy Home
Blessed Is a Happy Home
Of late there has been increase in court cases involving married couples. They usually originate from ill-treatment of women a malaise very common in our country. Being the weaker-section of society, women have always been exploited.
But some claim that there are cases, though few, where innocent and simple husbands are mentally tortured by their wives who earn enough to maintain themselves and: their children.
There was a time when women-would not desert their husbands even in the most adverse of circumstances — if they happened to be not earning enough or were addicted to vices such as drinking and gambling. This was for the simple reason that they wanted to avoid criticism from their near and dear ones.
Thus, they continued to suffer mental agony in silence tolerating high-handedness, cruelty and excesses. Some women were extremely sincere and devotee to their husbands and in-laws, even when they were placed in difficult monetary positions. For them, their husbands were their gods.
However, the scenario today is altogether changed as working women are not only educated, but are also financially well-off and independent. Some of them are bold, emotionally strong, domineering and assertive.
They strongly advocate that since wedlock has become a deadlock, it no longer facilitates a relationship to grow and that it is sometimes not possible to live with a husband, though they are of the considered opinion that separation is not necessarily the solution either.
They decide to stay with their parents temporarily “watching” their husbands make amends so that a congenial atmosphere is created for a safe and honorable return to their own sweet home. Though they show courage, yet inwardly they are broken and eagerly wait for good times to come.
They continue to meet their husbands like friends and even go about together, as for all practical purposes, they are still married. They have to maintain good relations out of sheer compulsion as they do not want their children to suffer.
The causes which lead to anger and frustration are not far to seek. Both, being working persons, return home tired and spent. They do not have sufficient time” to attend to domestic problems as each of them may be facing tensions at work. Preoccupied with personal, official or professional problems, they hardly get time to spend together, thus minimizing their chances for good marital relations.
Even the most innocuous-looking matter pertaining to domesticity can ignite suppressed feelings culminating in explosive situations with each partner spitting fire to establish his or her supremacy. Then a time will come when the husband and wife start coming home late to avoid meeting each other and begin looking for other destinations. The wife accuses the husband and in-laws of harassment.
The husband asks the wife to attend to domestic problems without realizing her preoccupation with official work and this is not acceptable to the wife. Thus, the stand taken by the husband or the in-laws and the treatment meted out to the wife tend to undermine her health and affect her happiness.
It would, therefore, be advisable for the couple to sit together and with the help of trusted friends and relatives, identify the causes for their separation. Once they are able to have confidence in each other and stop accusing each other, they will soon decide to return to their sweet home because separation or divorce is not the solution to marital differences.
Instead of washing dirty linen in public, it is worthwhile to sort out matters mutually because taking recourse to legal action would be more traumatizing.
Sometimes, mutual accusations and insinuations leveled by the husband or the wife result in a blessing in disguise, as the erring person tries to make amends. Elders come to know of the shortcomings of the person and take suitable remedial measures.
OFFERING AN APOLOGY
Sort out the matter mutually.
The husband or the wife, whosoever is in the wrong and realize it in his/her heart of hearts, must offer sincere regrets and assure the other side that misconduct will not be repeated.
Daughters-in-law (who develop mental differences) must not forget the love of the father-in-law, who might have looked after their comforts (even at the cost of his own comforts) to make them happy.
They must remember that parents-in-law contribute to the bringing up of children out of sheer love, par secularly when the couple is working. They sacrifice themselves so that the children do not suffer in any way.
Husband and wife must remember that life is short and the same should be spent not in litigation in courts, but in a happy home, for getting the past and forgiving each other. They must realize that separation is not the only solution, particularly when the couple has been blessed with children. Mothers are known for sacrifices and they must avoid unpleasant situations. The same applies to their husbands too.
Various social organizations, instead of exploiting the situation, should Endeavour to bring about a compromise between the husband and the wife. The same applies to the Crime against Women cells which should function as a “conciliation office.”