Relating to Relatives

Relating to Relatives

Relatives at the best of times can be a pain in the neck. Especially with today’s nuclear families and working wives, few homes have time to cater to the whims; fancies and demands of lose relatives. The role these worthies have, however, in making or marring a young marriage is truly tremendous.

It is odd but true that in the Indian scenario, a lot of the marriage success or strife is caused by relatives from both the bride’s and the groom’s side. They can strengthen a marriage or disrupt it.

There are relatives and relatives. Some are the salt of the earth; they offer support and aid, they give advice when solicited, are non-judgmental and tolerant and willing to lend a shoulder or ear when the need arises.

Unfortunately, there is the other breed of relatives too, who sponge on you, carry tales and gossip from one family to another, make your home their own, use your name and influence for their own purposes and…Well, the list is endless.

A fact of life is, one simply cannot wish away our relatives, and although we can follow a few norms which help us cope with them better! When a person marries, it is not simply to a spouse but to the whole family.

The newly-wedded person is expected to accept, honor and love a whole gaggle of strangers and begin to treat them as her own. This can cause problems when relatives are demanding, thick-skinned and insensitive.

“A new bride should not presume she has to be nice to all her husband’s relatives. Till she is more knowledgeable, she should treat them with respect, but without pulling out all the stops.

In her ignorance, she may lionize a person who is in the bad books of her in-laws or snub someone they like. It is a difficult tightrope walk for her till she learns how not to put a foot wrong.”